Katy Morin | Social Anxiety Antidote

Your Thoughts Shape Your Life

by Katy Morin | Apr 2, 2022 | Social Anxiety

The thoughts you have create the reality that you experience. If you think positively and live your life accordingly, then this will be reflected in your happiness and way of life as a whole. Conversely, by thinking negatively or having a negative outlook on life our mood becomes sour and we may also find ourselves being drawn toward people who share our negativity. What we think about is what manifests in our reality, so should we not be mindful of what goes through our minds?

Here are some tips on how to get your thoughts in order.

Dream

Create a picture of what you want to experience in your life. Think about where you want to go, the people you want to meet, the things that you want to do and the state you would like to achieve. Do this daily and create a vision for your life.
You are too busy focusing on what’s wrong with your current situation instead of stepping back and visualizing how you would like it to be instead.

Surrender

Once we decide what we’d like our lives to be, it is important that we surrender our ego and pride in order for this visualization or dream to come true. We need to allow ourselves to be open to new possibilities so that when they do appear, we are able to recognize them and take action.

Let go

Holding on to negative emotions of the past only serves as a distraction from what we would like to create in our future. Don’t feed the past with your thoughts and regrets. Put your energy into envisioning what you want instead.

Accept

Part of letting go is being able to accept the things in our lives that aren’t aligned with our goals and dreams. If you find yourself dwelling on something or someone that isn’t helping you achieve your goals, then it’s important that you let go of this attachment as well.

Be Grateful

Be thankful for all that you have and think about something in your life that you are grateful for. By shifting our focus to the positive aspects of our lives, we create space to help bring more positive things into our reality.

Forgive

Nothing is perfect, including ourselves. In order to help forgive yourself and others, you need to first admit (even if just to yourself) that you are wrong or have hurt someone else. By doing this intentionally, you will begin the process of releasing any negative feelings you may have toward this person or situation and clear the way for forgiveness to enter your heart.

Speak out

You will attract your thoughts into life if you speak them out loud. Breaking the cycle of negative thoughts is easy if we simply start speaking our desires into existence. If you want it, speak it out loud!

Observe

Be aware of the thoughts that you have, the things that you think about and the way you speak to yourself. If you find yourself thinking negatively, then take time out to focus on what is right in your life. In what ways are you grateful? How can this be developed further?

Mindset

Keep your mind sharp, open and curious and remember that nothing is permanent except change. Have faith that there is always a positive side to even negative situations (as hard as it may be to see sometimes).

Get quiet

Sometimes it’s helpful to go inside. Ask yourself questions about your future. Look at pictures of your goals. Listen to inspirational music while you do this, as it will give you clarity on how to move forward.

Ask

Ask yourself what you are currently focusing on. Are you focusing on the things you don’t want or do want? If so, ask yourself why and change your focus!

Heal

Think about people, places and things in your life that have hurt you. Ask yourself if this is the past repeating itself or if you are choosing to be hurt.

Create

Use your imagination! Are you imagining the life you want to live? Do it every day until it is realized.

Put a date on it

Set a date when you will reach your goal and write down everything that must take place before this date in order for it to occur. Focus on each of these smaller tasks and do them one at one until they are complete.

Think positively

Think positively about yourself and your future. If you are having a negative thought, replace it with a positive one. This could be something like “I am going for my dream. I am focused on no matter what happens.”

Take care of your body

Your body is made up of energy, so give it the energy that it needs to perform at its best. Sleep well and eat healthy!

Do what makes you happy

Make sure you have time to do the things that make you happy. If something doesn’t make you happy, then change it to something else that does!

Dip your toes

Sometimes it’s good to start small and build from there. Have a small goal, like going to the gym or posting a picture of yourself on social media. See how you feel after doing this and see if you would be able to continue with that goal.

Go to bed early

This is perhaps one of the most effective ways of shifting your mindset into a more positive state. By getting enough sleep, we are able to let go of anxiety, fears and stress and in turn, give our bodies the energy it needs for us to reach our goals.

Ask for help

Life has many different facets and we cannot achieve anything on our own. Having the right vision of what we want to create in our lives is only half of the battle. We also need to surround ourselves with the right people at the right time in order for us to reach our goals.

Lay low

As we create a more positive mindset, our energy will naturally gravitate toward positive people and environments. Hang out with positive people who are focused on their goals and dreams!

Live in the present

You may feel overwhelmed by the things that you need to accomplish and the time you have in order to reach them. But do not fear! One day at a time, even one hour at a time will get you where you need to go!

Keep going

If we can stay focused and keep ourselves on track toward our goals, then we will find ourselves moving forward instead of living in regret. There may be some times when doubt creeps into our minds and we find ourselves questioning our direction.

Your thoughts have a powerful influence on your life. If you can learn to control them, you will be able to draw your desires into reality and begin to create the life of your dreams. How do you control your thoughts? What are some tips that have worked for you?

How To Show Your Vulnerability When You Have Social Anxiety

by Katy Morin | Mar 19, 2022 | Social Anxiety

Not being able to show your vulnerability when you have social anxiety is one of the most frustrating things that happens in life. We often hide our true selves, trying to avoid rejection and pain, but these days everything is more accessible. All it takes is a few seconds on camera or even a simple act of kindness from an acquaintance — something that we can do without any fear of judgement. The thought alone can be painful, but it’s important to push yourself past that. Letting go and embracing your vulnerability will let you feel lighter and more like yourself for having done so.

You’ll be surprised by how quickly the next day will go once you start showing some vulnerability in social situations.
Start by doing something small first. While it can be nerve-wracking, take a deep breath and go for it!

Step 1: Notice the fear.

Privately record yourself saying things you normally wouldn’t say in public, like “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing” or “I feel silly”. Keep these phrases in mind while you’re out and see if they become a problem when people talk to you.
You’ll also start to feel more confident about your actions and choices as you embrace your vulnerability. You’ll realize that it wasn’t such a bad thing after all, even if you don’t always get the outcome that you hoped for.
People will really admire you for getting the courage to be vulnerable, so accept the praise and encouragement that comes your way.

Step 2: Find a safe place to test out your phrases.

Start by going anywhere where you think you’ll be able to handle it. Then try saying something like “I’m distracted” or “I feel silly” near someone who won’t mind (for example, someone who’s working or in class). If this goes well, talk about it with the person even if they don’t ask a question.

It’s important to find your comfort zone so that you can get the courage to be more vulnerable. Once you feel ready, try saying it in front of a group of people or talking about it with your friends even as you tear up. This is the next step in showing your vulnerability.

Step 3: Tell someone important to you what you are thinking.

Begin by telling them an embarrassing memory from your past and then say that you feel silly for doing what you did or not thinking about the consequences then and there.
This is the last step, and it can sometimes be the hardest. You’ll want to rush through this step, but you must make sure to address the issue so you will stay motivated to push past your fears.

A lot of us have been told that being vulnerable can be dangerous, but we know that isn’t true at all. You are taking the first step by acknowledging that you feel vulnerable, which is the biggest step towards being what you want to be. Keep going and see how far you can go!
When we are unable to show our vulnerability, it’s often because we’re afraid of judgement or rejection. Learn to push past these fears so you can truly be yourself. With time, people will find that your true colors really shine through.

Stay strong and stay focused on your goals!

Change Your Life by Using Your Subconscious Mind

by Katy Morin | Mar 6, 2022 | Social Anxiety

Would you like to change your life, but are worried that you lack the drive and motivation to do so?

I am going to show you how having social anxiety can actually be an incredible opportunity and how it can end up benefiting people’s lives. This article will give you immediate relief from these feelings, as well as demonstrate a highly effective technique for using your subconscious mind in order to create positive changes for yourself.

Let’s get into what concrete steps those with social anxiety could take in order to better their own lives.

What is the subconscious mind?

Before going through this technique, it is essential that we understand what the subconscious mind is. The subconscious mind is a part of our consciousness that programs and controls every single process in our lives. It is where our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and desires are based. Our goals and dreams are initially based on the content of our subconscious minds.

This means that if you want to start a new career path or move to a new location — these things need to be programmed into your subconscious in order for them to become a reality. All actions that you undertake have been initially imagined within your subconscious mind first. This is why it is important to feed your subconscious only good experiences and information, in order to allow for a high quality of life.

In order for us to transform our lives and create the reality that we want, we need to also change how we program our subconscious minds. It is within our power to change these things — but we need to first understand what exactly needs to be changed.

What does it mean when you say you want to improve your social anxiety? Most people think that by this they mean that they want to become more sociable and less anxious around others. This may seem like a good idea — but in my experience, it’s far from the truth. By working on this you actually worsen your social anxiety.

Instead, it is far more effective to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. It is these two factors that drive our behavior and determine what kinds of actions we undertake in any given situation. If you want to effectively change how others perceive you and be able to interact with them more effectively, then you need to focus less on your social anxiety symptoms and more on your confidence as a person. The good news is that it’s not hard at all — all it takes is a little re-programming within the subconscious mind.

Use the power of your subconscious mind

In order to create real and lasting change in your life, you need to stop the negative thinking about yourself. You need to realize the following facts:

You deserve good things in life You are capable of achieving anything that you want to in this world You are a talented and powerful person who is able to make positive changes within yourself (which will also benefit others) YOU control your life, not your circumstances — it is up to you what happens next because you have complete power over yourself. Nobody can tell you what should happen next in your life as long as you don’t allow them to.

Once you truly believe in these things, you will be able to enter a positive cycle of self-realization and self-improvement.

On the other hand, if you keep thinking negative thoughts and accepting that you won’t be successful in life, then this is exactly what will happen. If this sounds familiar to you, then try to imagine what your life would be like if your circumstances changed for the better — but YOU stayed the same. How would you act around others? You will probably be very uncomfortable around new people once you make these changes, so by working on your confidence and self-esteem, you are indirectly working on your social anxiety.

How to use the power of your subconscious mind to improve your social anxiety

Step 1: Pick out three qualities about yourself that you like the most. For example, “I am kind”, “I am smart”, “I am patient”, etc. Do this in a relaxed state where you are not distracted or thinking about something else. The more detail that you visualize when doing this exercise the better — imagine what each one of these characteristics looks like (all of its qualities) and how they impact your everyday actions.

Step 2: Let these three qualities become THE dominant qualities of your character. Imagine that these qualities are always on and always active within you in every single interaction with others or alone. Be sure to imagine yourself doing something positive and creative with these characteristics in your everyday life, as well as thinking about how they show up in your actions. For example, let’s say the first quality that you have selected is “kind”. You could imagine yourself talking to others or creating something new out of kindness. The more vivid and clear you can imagine this, the better — so try to use your full imagination and visualize as many objects, places and scenarios as possible where this quality is used.

Step 3: Repeat the first two steps with two more qualities. Make sure that they are completely different from each other and don’t repeat any of the previous ones. For example, “I am organized” (first), “I am funny” (second), “I am confident” (third). Work on these for about 2–3 weeks before adding new ones if you feel like you want to do so.

Step 4: Repeat this process with another handful of qualities, this time with the intention that these qualities are always on and active within you. For example, “I am calm”, “I am assertive”, “I am gracious”.

Step 5: Add more qualities until you have a full list of 10. Spend some time brainstorming ideas for each of these qualities and how they can be used to improve your life. Add qualities that you have never thought about before — you will be very surprised at what kind of qualities you can find.

Step 6: Feed these qualities to your subconscious mind as much as possible. The easiest way is to repeat the exercise from step 1, but also visualize your qualities within yourself in everyday situations and during interactions with others. This way, whenever you interact with others or do something new, you always use your character traits in a positive manner. If a situation calls for the opposite of one of the qualities that you have worked on, then don’t allow yourself to think those thought patterns — instead, let them pass by like a cloud on a sunny day. Always remember that these are positive things and they are always active within you.

Step 7: You need to repeat the process of visualization from step 1 and 2 with all of these qualities throughout the day. For example, if you are about to go out with someone for the first time, visualize yourself acting in a friendly, kind and calm manner. If you are thinking negative thoughts about yourself or others, then immediately replace them with positive and helpful thoughts. This will weaken the power of your negative thinking patterns and elevate your self-confidence.

Step 8: Learn to control your thoughts once again by repeating step 3 but this time use self-talk instead of visualization. Use self-talk to imagine yourself using the qualities in the best possible manner that you can. For example, if you have chosen “I am kind” and it is about time for you to talk to someone, use self-talk to think about what kind of an impact you have on their life and how you can be more kind. If this becomes easy enough and your self-talk becomes automatic, then stop using visualization and just do it through self-talk. This will be a good training method for you to use until your subconscious mind is trained enough to understand what you are talking about.

Step 9: Once you feel like you have mastered the use of self-talk and visualization, use these ways to improve your social abilities through everyday situations such as shopping or talking to strangers. Be sure not to repeat any positive thinking patterns that may be found in this book — only use those that have been designed for real-life situations such as talking to people at school or work.

Step 10: Just like with the previous steps, repeat this entire process for every other social interaction that you will have throughout the day. Try to be positive and always use at least one of your trained character traits in every interaction.

How to change your negative social thinking patterns into positive ones using affirmations

To go from a negative state and help yourself get over your fears and anxieties, you will need to change all of your negative thinking habits into positive ones. This is a very long-lasting process that will take time, so the best way to do it is by using the power of affirmations in daily life. You should use these affirmations for at least three months before you feel that the new habits are deeply ingrained in your mind.

Let’s say that for you the hardest thing about social anxiety is to approach people and start conversations. You might have thoughts like: “What if I do something stupid?” or “I am too nervous to talk”. To help yourself with these thoughts, you can use one of these affirmations:

“I am calm, kind and friendly. I am not nervous around people — there is no reason to be anxious.”

“I feel confident when I talk to people because I have trained my mind over time using visualization and self-talk. I am friendly and I make good conversations because I am comfortable in my own skin — this is what it means to be confident.”

“Having a conversation with someone is easy for me. I can maintain eye contact and have good non-verbal communication skills. What is difficult is when I try to talk about boring things or too soon — both of these make me anxious, but when I am relaxed and confident, talking is easy because there are so many things that we share in common.” (You can use these first two sentences if you feel anxious when approaching people).

“I am calm, kind, friendly and confident. This is how I want to be in all of my social interactions.”

“I am relaxed when I talk to people. I know how to maintain eye contact with people during a conversation.’’

“I enjoy talking with others because they bring out the best side of me — it is a gift that every human being has. I do not need to be nervous because I know how to talk with people, and they always appreciate my presence.”

“I am calm, relaxed and confident. Talking with others makes me happy because it is a way for us to communicate and interact.”

“I enjoy meeting people and talking because it is a way for us to learn more about each other. Having new experiences makes me happy. I enjoy talking about my life, listening to people and having a conversation that is interesting.”

“Everyone has different qualities. Once I see the best side of someone, it only adds to our friendship. I love having conversations because they bring out the best in other people.”

“I am calm and relaxed when I talk to others. I know how to maintain eye contact and have good non-verbal communication skills which make it easy for me to understand different people. My friends appreciate my presence because they never feel uncomfortable with me around — no matter what their social status is. I appreciate everyone who is willing to talk to me because I am interested in them, and I am interested in them as well.”

“I enjoy talking with people because in most cases they bring out the best in me. We are all unique — we all respect each other’s differences and this makes our friendship valuable. No matter how much my friends value my presence, there is no need for me to be nervous when they talk to me — this only happens on those rare occasions when I look nervous around others.”

“I am relaxed when I talk to others. Staying calm allows me to communicate freely and effectively. I enjoy meeting people and I make great conversations because I understand others and they understand me. Having conversations is easy for me because I don’t feel nervous around people.”

“I am relaxed when I talk to others. There is no reason for me to be nervous — after all, I have a lot of friends that enjoy my presence.”

“I identify the best in other people and this helps me connect with them. This is how our friendship grows. The more we talk with each other, the more we appreciate each other’s company. It does not matter what my friends say about themselves or about me — it is important for us to be alike in some ways, and different in others.

You have now seen how you can change your negative thinking patterns into positive ones. Try to use these affirmations whenever you feel nervous and anxious when talking to people. Whenever you start feeling negative, it is better for you to be expressive and express what is on your mind — this will help you in a positive way.

I hope that the tips above will help you in overcoming social anxiety by using the power of your subconscious mind.

Top 6 Reasons You Need to Put Yourself First

by Katy Morin | Feb 26, 2022 | Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is just one of the many things that can prevent us from living a fulfilling life. One of the most important struggles to overcome is getting off our own social pedestals and putting ourselves first. This article will go through five of the top reasons why you need to put yourself first when you have social anxiety.

Number 1: You will achieve better success if you put your own goals first.

Too many times, people with social anxiety choose to put other people’s needs before their own. They let other people dictate how they should live their life and the roles they play in it. Most of the time, those in our social circle will not even be aware of the discomfort we feel. It is very likely that they have no idea how significantly it affects us and causes us to mess up our own lives; they simply won’t understand what it’s like to be nervous when initiating conversations or having them initiated on you.

When you are putting others first, it causes you to act in ways that aren’t healthy for you. You will fail at both work and relationships, as well as experience emotional turmoil from being around your friends.

Number 2: When you are putting yourself first, it gives you the opportunity to put yourself above everyone else.

It can be easy to feel down sometimes when all your friends have what seems like such great lives and are so successful on the outside; yet on the inside, we struggle with our own insecurities and struggles. When we do this, we hold ourselves back from accomplishing our true potential and accomplishing realistic goals for ourselves.

We let other people around us define our self-worth on a daily basis because we are afraid to stand up for ourselves and give ourselves what we know is deserved. This lack of self-confidence in turn causes us to put less effort into the things that matter most in life, including our careers and relationships.

Number 3: Putting yourself first will make you healthier overall.

When you are putting yourself last or not at all, it makes it difficult to live a healthy life. Whether you realize it now or not, putting others ahead of yourself can oftentimes lead to exhaustion and overall stress. This can eventually cause you to become sick and stressed out.

When you are putting yourself first, it allows you to focus on your health and well-being. You will make sure you are eating healthy and working out, plus you are more likely to get the proper amount of sleep per night. When we fail to put ourselves first, we end up neglecting our physical health in order to make time for others. Soon enough we will realize that following our own dreams is extremely important because when we don’t, we won’t feel fulfilled in the long run regardless of how successful anyone else thinks we are.

Number 4: Putting yourself first will lead you towards self-worth and happiness.

When you are putting yourself first, you are not letting other people define your self-worth and happiness for you. You are living for yourself and doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy, as well as finding out what it takes to fulfill your potential. This will lead you towards self-worth and true happiness because you know that in the end, it all comes full circle; the more time and effort you put into achieving a goal, the more fulfilling the reward. When you put yourself second, you spend all your energy trying to please others and not being able to take care of yourself. In that case, no matter how much money you make or how much success you have, in the end there is always something missing; your own personal goals and desires will not be fulfilled.

Number 5: Putting yourself first will aid in stopping your anxiety and empowering yourself.

This is the number one reason why having social anxiety should immediately make you put yourself first. When we are putting ourselves first, we are doing what is best for us as a person. This includes setting realistic and achievable goals for ourselves. When we are living for others, it is often incredibly difficult to achieve any sort of significant positive change that will aid in our journey towards overcoming our social anxiety and self-esteem issues.

It can also be an extremely empowering feeling to know that you are doing what’s best for yourself, even if it means you have to deal with some emotional pain at times. It is when you put yourself first that you take control over your life and exactly where it’s headed and what real progress looks like. You do not have to let the world around you define your worth or happiness; instead of living under the control of other people’s standards, expectations, and choices, live by your own principles and make decisions that allow you to feel fulfilled.

Number 6: When you put yourself first, people around you will respect it.

When we fail to put ourselves first in social situations or in our everyday lives. We let others tell us how to live our lives and what we should be doing. This causes us to lose our self-worth and consequently their respect for us.

When you are putting yourself first, you are standing up for yourself and doing things the way you want to; this will in turn make people around you respect you more. You not only look like a confident person, but it will be clear that you are confident in your own decisions; people will see your actions as personal choices instead of someone else telling you what to do.

Why I Recommend This

Putting your own life and dreams first is something that will change the world around you. It doesn’t matter who said it first; it’s still true. The more we put our own lives before the lives of others, the more successful we will be in life. We will be happy and content with our lives because we did everything possible to make ourselves happy. We made sure to reach our full potential and live the best life that we possibly could have lived.

You Will Benefit From It Too

This is not just for people with social anxiety; this applies to anyone who puts themselves last.

There are many reasons why we need to put ourselves first. It can be hard to stand up for ourselves and make decisions for ourselves, but it will be worth it in the end. Those who have managed to put themselves first have experienced a happier life overall, and have also been more successful in their everyday lives, as well as career goals.

When you put yourself first and try to live your life how you want to instead of how others may want you to live it, humans will all benefit from it.

The more people who put themselves first, the sooner this world will be a better place. Those who don’t put themselves first will see their lives continue to fall apart; their self-esteem and self-worth will decrease just because they are letting others control them instead of themselves.

How Can You Put Yourself First?

If you have a hard time putting yourself first, it is going to take some work. Start small and do one or two things for yourself each day, once that starts becoming more natural then you can start finding a way to do more on your own. It may seem awkward at times, but it’s worth it in the end. If you are going to put yourself first then make sure you actually follow through with it.

Take care of your mental health first and foremost, besides taking care of your physical health. When you feel good about yourself it becomes easier to live for yourself and make the right choices.

You want to start making decisions for yourself and doing what’s best for you instead of being someone else’s puppet. You don’t need a magic potion that will change how you think; simply practice making decisions for yourself each day. Obviously, this is not easy at first but it will get easier as time goes on until it becomes second nature.

Once you feel like you are making good decisions for yourself from the start, start becoming more assertive. Once you feel comfortable in situations, start being a bit more assertive by asking for what you need. This is called social assertiveness.

How to Be More Assertive

Once you start to make better decisions for yourself and are taking care of your own personal needs, a high level of social assertiveness will become much easier because it will be second nature. While someone might not be taking good care of themselves or believe they deserve good things in life; it doesn’t mean that you should give up on them or lower your expectations of them.

It is important to be assertive and set boundaries for yourself. It will help you be better at setting boundaries with others too. The more we show ourselves that we are worthy of getting what we want and need, the happier and more confident we will become.

There are a few ways to become more assertive and it all starts with your thoughts. Start thinking of yourself as someone who is worthy of all the best things in life. Start believing in yourself and having confidence in yourself because you deserve it. The more you think of yourself this way, the easier it will be to become more assertive and ask for what you need.

Once you are thinking of yourself as someone who can and will get what they want, it’s time to start talking about your needs. People will be able to help you better if they know how something can help you. When you are getting others involved in helping with your needs, it is important to also remember that we all have our own minds and capabilities; if someone doesn’t want to help then that’s their choice, but don’t make them feel bad for not wanting to.

It’s important, to be honest with others and let them know what you need. If people cannot give you what you need, then it’s time to find someone else who can help you. There is no need to feel guilty for needing help. If they are unable to help then someone else will be able to but do make an effort to try and get what you need from them first.

When asking for something from another person, it’s important that your request is respectful and doesn’t come across as demanding or an expectation of them. If it’s something that you need from them and they don’t want to help, then say thank you for their time. Don’t make your request an expectation or demand of them, as in a way this is putting them last. Demanding something from others will not give you the response that you want because most people will not be comfortable doing what you are asking for.

Most people are going to be more willing to help someone who is assertive about their needs. This doesn’t mean being pushy; it simply means letting others know what you need to be happy and how they can help with those needs. Be clear with others when asking for help and make sure that you ask for what makes them feel most comfortable.

When you feel like something is not right, it might not be right and it may end up causing more harm than good because you are putting yourself last. When you put the other person first and give them what they want to do instead of what they think they should do, the more likely they will be to help out. Make sure that if you are asking someone to help out with something then it’s important that they will have fun while helping you out too.

By letting others know you are not going to do something that doesn’t make you feel good, they will be more likely to help out. If it’s something they will not enjoy, they may not want to help and that’s fine. In the end, it’s your life and your happiness that should come first, not theirs.

The Takeaway

If there is one thing you take from this article I hope it is that we need to start putting ourselves first and stop trying to control others. Some people have a hard time controlling their emotions and thoughts because they’ve been putting other people first for so long. We need to stop this cycle and start taking care of ourselves first.

By putting the needs of others before our own, we will be happier in the end, but it’s not as simple as that. If you want to start putting yourself first there are some steps you can take on your own which will make it easier to do. Once you feel good about yourself then it’ll start becoming second nature and much easier. The more you put other people first, then the more likely they are going to take care of you or hurt you when they don’t have to. Conversely, only being concerned with your needs and desires will make you happier. You will be able to do things for yourself and enjoy it as well.

The best way to start putting yourself in control is by letting others know what you need. Once they realize how much you need something, they will be more likely to help out. Make sure that you don’t come off as demanding or demanding of them. If someone doesn’t want to help then say thank you for their time and by all means, find someone else who does want to help out with what you need.

It’s important to be assertive when asking others for help and let them know that you need something, but don’t demand anything from them. The more assertive you are about what you feel you need, the better your relationships with others will be. Everyone wants to feel needed and someone who is assertive will make everyone feel appreciated. A happy life is one where you focus on yourself first. Once you start putting yourself first and thinking of yourself as someone who is worthy of being happy, it will be easier to put your own thoughts and needs first.

How To Stop Overthinking

by Katy Morin | Feb 20, 2022 | anxiety, Social Anxiety

Many people with social anxiety suffer from overthinking. They worry about what people are saying, how they are acting, and how they look. What if you don’t do anything right? What if they think you’re weird? What if it doesn’t go well? These thoughts can lead to self-judgment and further feelings of inadequacy. When you have social anxiety, it’s important to learn ways to cope with the overthinking that comes with the disorder so that your mind will stop worrying on its own.

Take a Deep Breath

When you are experiencing negative thoughts about yourself and your performance, it’s almost impossible to stop overthinking. It takes a conscious effort. Take a deep breath and enjoy the air that is filling your lungs. Whenever you take this simple step, your breathing slows down and your mind becomes more relaxed. When your mind is more relaxed, the worries begin to disappear.

Remind Yourself That You Are Enough

Often people with social anxiety think they aren’t good enough or they don’t measure up. They forget their strengths and their talents because of what happened in the past or what could happen in the future. The truth is that everyone has strengths and everyone can do something well if they try hard enough. Remind yourself that you have talents and strengths, even though you might forget them at times.

Don’t Think About Yourself In Terms Of Labels

When you have social anxiety, you tend to think in terms of labels. You worry about whether or not people are going to see the real you and reject you for it. What if they find out that I’m a fraud? What if they know I’m really stupid? These kinds of labels will only cause more anxiety and create more negative thoughts. Instead of thinking about yourself in terms of labels, think about yourself in terms of your character traits. For example, instead of thinking about being a shy person or an awkward person, think about being an honest person or a creative person.

Decide What You Want To Do

You might have some ideas about what you want to do. But without researching it first, it’s easy to get confused. Do you want to talk or listen? Do you want to be active or quiet? Just because someone says they want to do something doesn’t mean you should let them take control of the situation and ruin your chances of having a good time. If they don’t know what they are doing, they won’t be able to give you the guidance that will lead to a successful outcome. If there is a way for you to take control when doing something new, do so instead of letting them make all the decisions for you.

When you have social anxiety, taking control of a situation can help you stop overthinking about how it might turn out. You will be able to control your mind and not let it lead you down the same old path of negative thinking and self-judgment. Take this opportunity to try new things, take charge of situations, and stop overthinking once and for all.

If you need more help to stop overthinking, check out my course Why Worry? This course will teach you how worry can hold you back, and what you should do about it to get back on track.

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